The Power of Authenticity: Embracing Your Role as the Decision Maker in Life

Understanding Authenticity

An authentic life means something different to all of us, but authenticity always means living in alignment with your true self. It involves understanding your personal values, passions, and aspirations, and letting these guide your choices. This could mean choosing a career that genuinely fulfills you, forming relationships that truly resonate with your spirit, or simply indulging in hobbies that bring you joy, irrespective of their popularity. For me it meant changing the way I thought about, and did things in and around my home. I started exchanging meaningless trips to the mall with time in the garden. My household spending cut back on consumerist spending and I increasingly spent available money on seeds, fresh produce and equipment that I needed for preserving and other homesteading activities.

The Merits of Authentic Living

Greater Inner Peace: Authentic living reduces the internal conflict between who you are and who you feel pressured to be. I found that spending more of my free time at home, increased my sense of peace significantly, eventually slowly changing my family culture. The question on Friday afternoons changed from “what take aways are we going to have” to “what did mom make or bake for Friday night dinner around the porch table”. This alignment diminishes stress and boosts mental health, providing a sense of peace and contentment.
Improved Relationships: Being authentic allows you to form deeper connections with others. Over time my children found their way into the kitchen since this was where they could find me. For some it is to have a conversation, others became interested in what I was doing. Me and my one daughter now have a change to bake a different cake every Saturday and then we sit down and write down the recipe in our own handwriting. Much like the type of recipe books my grandmother and mother had. We learn new skills, create a precious document full of memories and invest time in our relationship.Relationships built on authenticity are typically more substantial and satisfying because they are based on genuine interactions rather than superficial exchanges.
Enhanced Self-Esteem: When you live authentically, you affirm your self-worth. You acknowledge that your ideas, feelings, and desires are valuable, which boosts your confidence and self-esteem. You must believe me when I say that my skill and knowledge was dangerously limited when I started out. It was more enthusiasm than ability that propelled me forward. My self-esteem followed my actions , and frequent failure.
Resilience Against Adversity: These frequent fails and lots of laughs for the kitchen disasters I had breed resilience and optimism. I became convinced that I can always try again. Most disasters can be redeemed by future triomphs! Authentic individuals can navigate life's challenges more effectively. Their solid sense of self provides a stable foundation when confronting difficulties, making them more resilient.
Intrinsic Motivation: Living authentically means being driven by internal desires and passions, not external rewards or recognition. I have been actively cultivating a kitchen for many years and cannot remember all the times a crop failed. What I do remember vividly are the times I had amazing tomato crops, when I made a single bowl of delicious salsa verde with my whole harvest of tomatillos, or the taste of the fist cucumber I grow on the vine. These wins are the fuel and motivation behind what I do.This intrinsic motivation leads to greater persistence and satisfaction in pursuits, whether in careers, hobbies, or relationships.

Taking Back Decision-Making Power

In a culture where external influences are omnipresent—shaped by aggressive advertising, celebrity endorsements, and digital algorithms—it’s easy to lose sight of one's own preferences and values. Reclaiming the role of decision-maker in your life involves a few key steps:

Self-Reflection: Spend time understanding your values, goals, and passions. This may involve introspection, journaling, or even professional counseling to uncover deeper insights into your personal identity. I have mentioned before that I have a more upside down approach. I find a challenge and then when I succeed or fail I ask myself questions to determine my why. I assessing what the experience taught me I then determine the way forward. It is important to get to know your personal modus operandi when it comes to carving your authentic path in life.
Setting Boundaries: Learn to say no to things that do not align with your values. This can mean declining social obligations, resisting impulse buys promoted by marketing tactics, or opting out of mainstream media consumption that does not contribute positively to your life. An important boundary for me was to take what I could learn from social-media but to not get caught in the trap of the filter. By this I mean that I had to have boundaries when it came to craving the picture perfect social media picture. The knowledge available at the click of button is the intrinsic value not the filtered perfection that is portrayed.
Prioritizing Personal Growth: Invest in activities that foster your growth and well-being, such as education, health, and meaningful relationships. Choose pursuits that enrich your life and contribute to your long-term happiness. What could add value to your life is vastly different for all of us. No body else can determine what will assist your growth better than yourself.

Challenging Consumerist and Influence Culture

The prevailing consumerist culture often promotes a hollow, unending cycle of acquisition, suggesting that happiness can be bought or that it lies in the approval of others. Similarly, influence culture—fueled by social media—can distort reality, presenting lifestyles and standards that are not only unattainable for most but also largely irrelevant to personal happiness.

The Myth of More: Consumerism thrives on the notion that more is better. However, endless consumption only leads to temporary satisfaction. Studies consistently show that materialism is linked to lower happiness levels, increased anxiety, and depression. I want to encourage you by saying that you can learn more about homesteading by changing two punnets of fresh strawberries into a bottle of homemade jam than what you can learn from the next guru on homesteading. It is not about the courses and equipment. Your happiness is about doing something yourself.
The Illusion of Social Media Perfection: I have mentioned this before, and believe that this a dangerous trap to fall into. Influence culture promotes a curated, flawless vision of life that can lead to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction. Breaking free from the need for online validation by focusing on real-life interactions and achievements can significantly boost one’s sense of reality and self-worth. My vegetable garden will most probably never look like many of the gardens displayed on social media. I will also not have a garden if it wasn’t for all the help I had to do what I do. My gardener, Blessing, is exactly that , a blessing in my life. His knowledge and commitment is awe inspiring. His care for my animals and plants is a constant source of inspiration to me. On social media we often miss that it takes many, many people to make it look like one person has achieved success. If you only have your own two hands to make things happen that I want to commend you for every little thing you achieve. Don’t stop because you are alone, before you know it you will influence someone else to also try.
Redefining Success: Success should not be measured solely by wealth, possessions, or popularity but by how closely one's life aligns with personal values and aspirations. Redefining success to include personal satisfaction, fulfillment, and joy can lead to a richer, more meaningful life. Never forget how satisfying the first little roots at the bottom of the avo pip you suspended in water was, or the three beans that started sprouting when you put it between damp cotton wool.

Conclusion

Choosing to live authentically is a powerful antidote to the pressures of a consumerist and influence-driven society. It allows individuals to reclaim their happiness, make more meaningful choices, and develop deeper relationships. By focusing on personal values and resisting the pull of external influences, anyone can lead a more fulfilled and resilient life. Let us remember that the role of decision-maker is ours and ours alone—embracing it fully can transform our lives and the world around us for the better.