How To Create An Authentic Life That Makes You Happy

Acting authentically to influence your lifestyle means engaging in behaviours and making decisions aligned with your true self—your core values, beliefs, passions, and personal identity. This approach requires a deep understanding of oneself and a commitment to express that understanding in all aspects of life, from daily habits to long-term goals. 

I have often written about my own upside-down journey to reaching a lifestyle that suits me and my family. I tend to explore new avenues and ways of expressing myself as a matter of habit. These endeavours often lead to dead ends, but even then, I learn about my passions and motivations. No experience is wasted if you commit to evaluating and incorporating what you know.

Definition of Authenticity

Authenticity, in the context of personal development and lifestyle, is the degree to which one is true to one's personality, spirit, or character despite external pressures. It involves being honest with oneself and consistent in one's actions and words, regardless of the situation or the presence of others.

Key Components of Authenticity

  1. Self-awareness: This is the foundation of authenticity. It involves recognizing your emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and drivers. I tend to procrastinate, and this is never conducive to change. Small, easy projects that could be completed quickly and did not require special equipment and ingredients were my way out of procrastination and into a world of creativity and positive change. That first fermented sauerkraut and my first carrot harvest count as such triumphs.  Self-awareness lets you understand what makes you unique and how to best interact with the world.

  2. Honesty: Being authentic requires honesty, both internally (with oneself) and externally (with others). This means acknowledging your true feelings and expressing them respectfully and appropriately. Being honest about some of my friendships was one of the most effective ways of creating mental space and time to explore new and authentic ways of expressing myself.

  3. Integrity: Acting with integrity means behaving in a way that is consistent with your values and principles, regardless of whether others are watching or if you face external pressures to act otherwise. Although I got lulled into a lifestyle of mindless activity and consumerism when my older children were young, my curiosity to learn more about gardening and cooking whole foods led me to become wholeheartedly committed to a slowsteading lifestyle. This does not mean I do not find myself occasionally dragged back into consumerism. Luckily, the energy and joy that comes with slow living quickly pull me back to my passion.

  4. Congruence: refers to the alignment between your internal beliefs and external actions. When what you do matches what you believe, you are living congruently and authentically. As my slow-steading community started to take shape, even when it was mainly my husband and children, our shared values and enthusiasm kept us moving in the same direction.

Influencing Lifestyle Through Authenticity

When authenticity guides your lifestyle choices, your actions align with your identity and values. Here's how authenticity can influence various aspects of your lifestyle:

  1. Career Choices: By understanding your values and what you are passionate about, you can choose a career path that feels fulfilling and meaningful rather than just opting for job security or prestige. It can be challenging to make an extreme career change. What is much more attainable is to change the way you think and talk about what you are involved in. Your personal choices make a huge difference, even in a less-than-ideal work environment. I do not believe there is a better depiction of this than the movie  Julie and Julia. If you have not seen it, it is worth the time to see how a mindset change can change the direction of your life. 

  2. Relationships: Authenticity affects how you relate to others. When you are true to yourself, you attract and maintain relationships with people who appreciate the real you. This leads to deeper, more meaningful connections. People generally love hearing others speak about something they dream about but have yet to attempt. Please test this theory by sharing your small life endeavours with your friends and family and seeing who reacts positively. You might find your first friend in a new community of slow steaders.

  3. Health and Well-Being: Acting authentically can improve mental and physical health. When you are honest about your needs and boundaries, you can take better care of yourself and avoid the stress of living a life that doesn't fit you. As winter approaches, I am still testing my tinctures on any consenting adult I can find. I must admit that a spoonful of homemade elderberry syrup does go down well. I am convinced that something that tastes that good must benefit my immune system! 

  4. Personal Growth: Authenticity encourages continual self-reflection and adaptation, fostering individual growth. By regularly assessing whether your lifestyle aligns with your true self, you can make adjustments that foster your development and satisfaction. I want to caution against adding a lot of extra guidelines and principles to an already

cluttered and overextended lifestyle. Creating authenticity is all about lessening the load and finding the joy. Keep your goals in mind. 

Challenges to Authenticity

Living authentically is not without its challenges. Societal expectations, peer pressure, and personal insecurities can all make it difficult to maintain authenticity. It requires courage to stand firm in your values and identity, especially when they go against the norm or face potential criticism.

The concept of an authentically developed lifestyle is discussed in Chapter 9: THE BEAUTY OF A SIMPLE LIFE in my book. What If I Don't Have Enough. This chapter emphasizes the virtues of simplicity and minimalism in one's daily life. It covers how simplifying one's environment and habits can lead to a more authentic, focused, and fulfilling lifestyle, contrasting with the cluttered and chaotic living conditions that complicate and stress modern lives. Here, the focus is on creating ease and adopting practices that align closely with personal values and needs, thus fostering a genuine sense of well-being and satisfaction. 

Acting authentically to influence your lifestyle means making choices deeply rooted in your identity and values. It involves understanding who you are, being honest about that understanding and aligning your actions accordingly. This leads to a more coherent, satisfying, and fulfilling life, where the external aspects of your lifestyle reflect your inner truths.

Creating an authentic lifestyle is about aligning your daily life with your core values and unique characteristics. In our previous discussion on "slow steading", we explored the principles of living deliberately and sustainably, taking time to foster meaningful relationships, and reconnecting with nature. Here, we'll integrate those principles with your identity to guide you in building a truly authentic lifestyle.

Understand Your Unique Character

The journey to an authentic lifestyle begins with self-understanding. Reflect on your passions, strengths, weaknesses, and values. What brings you joy? What are you naturally good at? What values are non-negotiable in the way you live your life? By answering these questions, you can tailor a lifestyle that resonates deeply with who you are rather than following prescriptive norms that don't align with your individuality. 

Embrace the Principles of Slow Steading

Slow steading is often about creating a unique and joyful life based on the agreeable principles of many different lifestyle approaches. Trial and error is the best way of reaching an oasis of calm that makes you happier and more resilient to life's challenges. Slow steading is not just about slowing down but making intentional choices that align with sustainable and fulfilling living. Here's how you can apply its principles to forge a lifestyle true to you:

  1. Simplify Your Life: Start by decluttering—both physically and mentally. Reduce distractions and commitments that do not contribute to your well-being or happiness. This simplification makes space for activities and relationships that truly matter to you.

  2. Connect With Nature: No matter where you live, find ways to integrate nature into your daily routine. This could be as simple as growing herbs on a windowsill, spending time in a local park, or planning regular hikes. Nature has a way of grounding us and reconnecting us with our essence.

  3. Build Community Connections: Authentic lifestyles thrive in community contexts. Engage with your local community or build a new one around shared interests or values. This connection fosters a support system and enriches your life with diverse interactions and perspectives. As I have mentioned, my community started with my direct family and very slowly developed over time.

  4. Practice Mindfulness and Reflection: Regularly engage in practices that foster mindfulness, such as meditation, journaling, or simply spending quiet time alone. Being content with one's own company is a beautiful trait to develop.

  5. Adopt a Sustainable Approach: Make choices that respect the environment and future generations. This can mean buying less but choosing better quality and supporting local businesses, or reducing your carbon footprint. Sustainability in slow steading isn't just about the environment; it's also about creating a long-lasting and fulfilling lifestyle.

Integrate Your Interests and Passions

Your interests and passions are critical components of your unique character. Integrating them into your daily life is crucial for authenticity. If you love art, incorporate time for creating or appreciating art into your routine. If your passion lies in helping others, find ways to volunteer or support causes that are important to you. This integration ensures that your daily activities reflect what motivates and excites you. 

Establish Your Own Pace

One of the core ideas of slow steading is rejecting the hustle culture. Establishing a pace of life that feels right for you is essential. Some people thrive on high energy and fast paces; others need a slower, more deliberate pace to feel their best. Recognize your pace, and don't fear living differently from societal expectations. I wrote a blog about The Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) a while ago. You can find it here.

Create Rituals and Routines

Routines can be incredibly grounding and help you incorporate slow steading principles into your daily life. Create rituals around activities that align with these principles, like morning walks, weekly meal planning using local ingredients, or evening downtime without digital distractions. Having regular mealtimes around an adequately laid table is a powerful way of connecting with your significant others. These rituals help you maintain consistency in living your authentic lifestyle.

Continuously Evolve and Adapt

An authentic lifestyle is not static. As you grow and change, so will your lifestyle. Continuously reflect on your life's alignment with your values and character. Be open to evolving your practices and routines to adapt to your changing needs and circumstances.  Chapters 7, 8, and 9 of my book Happy and Home Free offer distinct approaches to creating an authentic personal lifestyle by delving into slow living, the practices observed in Blue Zones, and the concept of Ikigai. Each chapter explains the "how" of developing an authentic personal lifestyle.

Conclusion

Creating an authentic lifestyle is a deeply personal and rewarding endeavour. It requires introspection, commitment, and flexibility. By aligning your lifestyle with the principles of slow steading and your unique character, you can build a life that feels genuinely yours and contributes positively to the world around you. Remember, authenticity is about making choices that consistently resonate with your true self, and every small step in this direction is a step towards a more fulfilled life.