Declutter Your Thought Patterns

Recently, much attention has been given to decluttering our houses and living spaces. It is easy to forget that we first inhabit our minds and then the physical spaces we live in. This mind space can get seriously cluttered, and that makes living difficult. Even if we can attain a neat and organised exterior, a cluttered mind can cause much mental unhappiness. An assessment of the situation might be necessary to decide whether we need to declutter mentally.

Thought patterns are the mental habits that develop over time. It often affects us negatively without being obvious to others or ourselves. We might believe we are positively inclined and not prone to thought patterns that silently sabotage our happiness, productivity, and mindset.

There are many types of mental clutter; some are more difficult to sort out than others. Join me in exploring some untidy mind cupboards that lurk behind closed doors.

Rumination

Rumination is defined as engaging in a repetitive negative thought process that loops continuously in mind without end or completion. The pattern can be distressing, difficult to stop, and unusually involves repeating a negative thought or trying to solve an evasive problem.

What are the two types of rumination? Rumination is divided into two subtypes, reflective and brooding. Reflective rumination is a cycle of thinking that is analytical and problem-solving, whereas brooding is more damaging and self-perpetuating. Brooding rumination leads to negative moods and negative opinions of oneself.

What causes ruminating?

People ruminate for a variety of reasons. According to the American Psychological Association, some common reasons for rumination include:  belief that by ruminating, you’ll gain insight into your life or a problem  having a history of emotional or physical trauma  facing ongoing stressors that can’t be controlled

Ruminating is also common in people with specific personality characteristics, including perfectionism, neuroticism, and an excessive focus on one’s relationships with others.

Tips for addressing ruminating thoughts:

Once you get stuck in a ruminating thought cycle, it can be hard to get out of it. If you enter a process of such thoughts, it’s essential to stop them as quickly as possible to prevent them from becoming more intense.

1. Distract yourself4Finding a distraction can break your thought cycle when you realize you’re starting to ruminate. Look around, quickly choose something else to do, and don’t give it a second thought.

   Consider:  calling a friend or family member  doing chores around your house  watching a movie  drawing a picture  reading a book  walking around your neighborhood

2. Plan to take action Instead of repeating the same negative thought over and over again, take that thought and make a plan to take action to address it. Doing this will disrupt your rumination. It will also help you move forward in the attempt to get a negative thought out of your head once and for all.

3. Take action Once you’ve outlined a plan of action to address your ruminating thoughts, take one small step to address the issue.

4. Question your thoughts We often ruminate when we think we’ve made a significant mistake or when something traumatic has happened to us thatwe feel responsible for.If you start ruminating on a troubling thought, try putting your repetitive thought in perspective.

5. Understand your triggers Each time you find yourself ruminating, make a mental note of your situation. This includes where you are, what time of day it is, who’s around you (if anyone), and what you’ve been doing that day.Developing ways to avoid or manage these triggers can reduce your rumination.

6. Talk to a friend Ruminating thoughts can make you feel isolated. Talking about your thoughts with a friend who can offer an outside perspective may help break the cycle. Be sure to speak with a friend who can give you that perspective rather than ruminate with you.

Catastrophizing

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, to catastrophize is to imagine the worst possible outcome of an action or event, to think about a situation or event as a catastrophe. Catastrophizing is when someone assumes that the worst will happen. Often, it involves believing that you're in a worse position than you are or exaggerating the difficulties you face.

Mindfulness:

If you often find yourself catastrophizing, mindfulness may be helpful. It might help you recognize which thoughts are irrational and can help you control your thoughts. Several studies have suggested that mindfulness can treat or reduce catastrophizing.

FOMO - Fear of Missing Out

Fear of missing out or not being included in something (such as an exciting or enjoyableactivity) that others are experiencing. FOMO is a natural phenomenon that is becoming increasingly common and can cause significant stress. It can affect anyone, but some people are at greater risk.

As Erica Jong once said: “Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.”

FOMO involves a deep sense of envy and affects self-esteem. It is often exacerbated by social media sites like Instagram and Facebook. It involves more than just a feeling of missing out on fun things. It could also include feelings that you are missing out on fundamentally important things others are experiencing.

It’s certainly not a good thing. And it leads you to check social media repeatedly so you don’t feel out of the loop. So you know you’re doing okay. So you don’tfeel left out.

It can apply to anything from a party on a Friday night to a promotion at work, but it always involves a sense of helplessness that you are missing out on something big.

Since the introduction of social media, FOMO has become more apparent and studied more often. Social media has acceleratedthe FOMO phenomenon in several ways. It provides a situation in which you compare your regular life to the highlights of others' lives.

Therefore, your sense of "normal" becomes skewed, and you seem to be doing worse than your peers. You might see detailed photos of your friends enjoying fun times without you, which is something that people may not have been so readily aware of in past generations.

Social media creates a platform for bragging; it is where things, events, and even happiness seem to compete at times. People are comparing their best, picture-perfect experiences, which may lead you to wonder what you lack.

Fortunately, steps can be taken to curb your FOMO if it is something you experience.

1. Change Your Focus Rather than focusing on what you lack, try noticing what you have. You can change your social media feed to show less of what triggers your FOMO and more of what makes you feel good about yourself.

2. Keep a Journal It is common to post on social media to record thefun things you do. However, you may notice a little too much about whetherpeople validate your experiences online. Keeping a journal can help you to shift your focus from public approval to private appreciation of the things that make your life great. This shift can sometimes help you to get out of the cycle of social media and FOMO.

3. Seek Out Real Connections Feelings of loneliness or exclusion are our brain's way of telling us that we want to seek more significant connections with others and increase our sense of belonging. Rather than trying to connect more with people on social media, why not arrange to meet up with someone in person? Making plans with a good friend, creating a group outing, or doing anything social that gets you out with friends can be a nice change of pace, and it can help you to shake that feeling that you are missing out.

4. Focus on Gratitude Studies show that engaging in gratitude-enhancing activities like gratitude journaling or simply telling others what you appreciate about them can lift your spirits and those of everyone around you. This is because it is harder to feel as if you lack the things you need in life when you are focused on the abundance you already have. It also holds true because making others feel good makes us feel good. Although FOMO is strongly correlated with socialmedia usage, it is essential to remember that it is a genuine and familiarfeeling among people of all ages. Everyone feels a certain level of FOMO atdifferent times in their lives. “The problem with FOMO is the individuals it impacts are looking outwardinstead of inward,” McLaughlin said. “When you’re so tuned in to the ‘other,’or the ‘better’ (in your mind), you lose your authentic sense of self. Thisconstant fear of missing out means you are not participating as a real personin your world.” We all have bad things we can think about. But they don’t bother us whenwe pay them no mind. “Look on the bright side” is a cliche, but it’s alsoscientifically valid. Your happiness is determined by how you allocate your attention. What you attend to drives your behavior, and it determines your happiness.

Fearof lack – Scarcity mindset

A scarcity mindset is a persistent feeling of not-enoughness—feelings of inadequacy, fear of going without, a lack of self-confidence—most often stemming from negative thought patterns around time, money, and energy.

So having a scarcity mindset has little to do with what you have in your bank account or how much time or energy you have to give in a day and very muchto do with how we feel about ourselves and what we believe about what we can offerto this world.

Where does a scarcity mindset come from? Our beliefs are often informed by and built around our experiences and how we interpret those experiences, mores o than what we’re verbally taught.

The other thing to remember is that you are immersed in a culture that thrives off convincing you that you are not enough. And when I say “thrives,” Imean quite literally, thrives. Companies are directly profiting off your feelings that you are not pretty enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, not cool enough, not stylish enough, not fill-in-the-blank enough.

No wonder we have a scarcity mindset. No one is immune. We must constantly be fighting a perspective that tells us there are only so many resources to go around and that to get what you need, you must fight for it. A scarcity mindset sets us up for unhealthy competition, jealousy, franticness,anxiety, overworking, and confusion about what matters most.

An abundance mindset is the opposite of this. It is straightforward to change the story we tell ourselves surrounding our experience of enough. It is taking the same desires, circumstances, and experiences we’ve always had surrounding money, time, and energy and changing the story we tell ourselves. Same experiences. Different story.

Where a scarcity mindset tells us there is not enough time to sleep in for another hour, that our friend who asked for our time will be so lost without our help, or that everyone is always trying to take our money from us,an abundance mindset says: life is complicated. There will always be competing needs and expectations. But I am enough. I have enough.

To be clear, an abundance mindset isn’t some “health and wealth” magic wand that will immediately transform you into a millionaire flying to Italy first class in no time.

So it means I am open to receiving whatever life brings my way—including disappointment, confusion, pain, etc. because I know happiness and peace are not dependent on my circumstances. My happiness is something I carry inside of me.

That’s an abundance mindset. And it’s much easier said than done. By that, I mean it’s much easier to write about than it is to carve out those thought pathways when facing loss, a fear of failure, or a season of living without.

Here are some thoughts that build an abundance mindset · Everything that happens to me is an opportunity to learn. · I will receive exactly what I need,exactly when I need it. · There’s more where that came from. · I now release what I no longer need. · I accept all blessings as they flow into my life. · It’s okay to be happy and enjoy my life. · I can do even difficult things with joy. · I am not obligated to give what I don’thave.

Another change I’ve seen is an increase in joy. I love this quote from a book called Simple Abundance:

Today I want you to become aware that you already possess all the inner wisdom, strength, and creativity needed to make your dreams come true. This is hard for most of us to realize because the source of this unlimited personal power is buried so deeply beneath the bills, the car pool, the deadlines, the business trip, and the dirty laundry that we have difficulty accessing it in our daily lives. When we can’t access our inner resources, we come to the flawed conclusion that happiness and fulfillment come only from externalevents… And so, we’ve learned to rely on circumstances outside ourselves for forward or backward momentum as we hurtle through life. But we don’t have to dothat any longer. We can learn to be the catalysts for our change. —SarahBan Breathnach

Our value is not determined by our bank account, our title or position,our rank, our skill set, our marital status, our last name, our education, the designer clothes we own, the number of fancy destinations we’ve visited, or anything else. You are enough. You have enough. You are going to be okay.